Hot!

The weather these days is freaking hot and I can't do anything without feeling restless after a few minutes and get all but frustrated for not being able to curb my restlessness.

Ok, maybe this has got little to do with the suffocatingly hot (literally! in LT4) weather but rather, the root of the problem(s) lies with me.

Deadlines coupled with a writer's block are stressing me out. One month left to the last major deadline of my school life and here I am, still struggling to make sense of the mass of information which have accumulated over the past 7 months. I've done much organisation and re-organisation over the time and just when I managed to come up with a clearer and presumably better organisation of contents, I realised that it is now too late to make amendments to my now-unsuitable-title. Stupid, careless me. This is so me. Careless and reckless, especially when I am stressed out. And while the horror missing that important deadline clouds itself over my already pre-occupied mind, I conveniently left my thumbdrive plugged in a CPU at AS7 computer lab and went home, feeling lousy. And of course, my mood got even lousier when I realised that my thumbdrive didn't come home with its owner. Great.

And finally, I get my big break at teaching but it isn't what I want. I tell myself that to teach untrained may not be a bad thing, even though it does seem very intimidating. However I can't help but feel grouchy about this unexpected offer. This is one of the rare times when I actually want to belong to a particular group and to have some company. Maybe I'm meant for a life with twists and turns, not the major ones but nonetheless, they are rather impactful.

As you may have noticed from the above contents, I'm such a complain queen. And the one person I would like to complain most about, is none other that myself. Why do I procrastinate? Why am I so impatient and careless? Why can't I be more disciplined and focused? Why am I spending time complaining about myself when I should be working on my assignments and thesis?

I'm on a quest. It gets lonely sometimes and the going is tough most of the time. There are sudden storms which impair my vision and thoughts and block out the view of my final destination. But I know I really shouldn't give up.

Much salvage work to be done today. Sigh.