I know my performance is not that good yet and that I have a lot more to learn. I appreciate the things that people put me through for they are all valuable learning experiences. But why can't they see how difficult these supposedly simple things are from my point of view? I'm being molded, changed, twisted into someone I'm not. Made to do things I don't want to. It's necessary and unavoidable. It's my duty and I won't run away from it.
At the end of the day, I just need some reassurance, some comforting words, some understanding. Or perhaps, just someone to confide to without being judged. Just sit there and listen. Why can't anyone do that for me?
To hell with the steep learning curve. I will do things so long as it is required of me. If I haven't been meeting the expectations, I'm afraid this is the best I can do for now. If you can't accept it, fine. But don't say I haven't been trying or that I'm absolutely wrong and you are absolutely right. You don't know how much hard work I've been putting in. You don't see, you don't feel, so don't speak. Don't.
With so much negativity pouring into my ears, penetrating my heart, I'm need all the positivity I can find. Don't have it? Stay away from me.
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